Redesigning the state flags

What does your state flag look like? Can you draw it from memory? Can you spot it at a distance? Probably not. Most of our state flags really stink. Want proof? Have a look at this!

These are half of our state flags. Please note the individuality. A blue field with a thingy in the center. The only state that design can be argued to actually represent is Hawaii, and that one isn't even up there. We'll get to that later. If your state flag is somewhere in this image and you located it, it's most likely because you are from Kansas, Montana, Oklahoma or Wisconsin and you read it. So you cheated. But it's not your fault. It's your state flag's fault.

RULE NUMBER ONE: A flag should not have words on it. Individual letters are acceptable if done tastefully. Currently, out of the 50 states, 38 have words on them. So we've got a lot of work to do. Lot's of those words are in Latin, so nobody knows what they mean anyway. So no words.

RULE NUMBER TWO: A flag should have no "hand." This requires a little explanation. Let's compare two flags. First is Texas.

This is a nice flag. It represents "The Lone Star State" well with its star count. A kid could draw this and feel reasonably confident that he or she has captured the essence of the flag. This flag can be stated with a reasonably simple mathematical description:

Width to length: 3/2. Left third blue. Centered in blue is white, upward pointing regular five-pointed star whose diameter is 3/4 width of blue stripe. Upper half of right two thirds white. Lower half of right two thirds red.

That may sound complex, but let's compare it to another state flag.

Here we have Idaho. Go on, kid. Draw it.

So this is what I mean by "hand." I could say, "We need a gal in a white robe with a pole with a black smurf hat on top and she should be holding a scale and looking to the left and there's a cornucopia snaking around her legs and a deer head and a mountain range and a river in a shield and a guy with a pickaxe and a shovel and some rocks and a white banner and plants with two yellow ribbons on them... and this description could go on for pages and pages, and you could never draw it. Never.

Granted, "hand" isn't the only problem with this flag. There's also a "kitchen sink" issue here.

So, this post and the ones beneath it are going to feature state flags, good and bad, and redesign the really bad ones so everyone can picture their flag in their heads, recognize it at a distance, and draw it at least to the point that it can be distinguished from other state flags. You're welcome.